This is a song about a famous train wreck .....

.....  Co-incidentally, it was about a famous train wreck before I changed the words.

Oh, they gave her her orders at Guardian Headquarters
Saying "Burch, we're way behind
"We've been losing readers since 1997
"You must whip 'em to a frenzy this time!"

Julie Burchill turned across to her spoilt, paying intern
And said, "Shovel on a little more hate
"And then when we get out there and the presses are a-rollin'
"We can watch those tr*nnies disintegrate!"

She was writing out bull$#!t, making ninety words a minute
When they heard a piercing scream
'Cause the ink in her fountain pen had overheated
And she vanished in a cloud of blue steam!

When the money from the advertising slowed to a trickle
They said, "Sorry -- that article stank!"
If you print harsh words about a minority
You can eat crow all the way to the bank!

Now all I need is a time machine, and then I can go back to when it was actually topical  :)